Al Jourgensen

Photo via Alien Jourgensen Facebook page

On Friday, Ministry debuted the music video for new single “PermaWar,” and while bandleader Al Jourgensen gave the clip a cursory plug on his recently launched Facebook page, he was preoccupied with something far more pressing: a “Caddyshack”-like battle against the “thug gang of asshole raccoons” that overtook his El Paso, Texas, compound.

Thankfully for us, Jourgensen chronicled his campaign against the varmints on his aforementioned Facebook page, offering a blow-by-blow account of his decision to deploy first a cayenne-pepper “bomb” and then unleash dry ice, mothballs and black pepper in an attempt to smoke the raccoons out (he did note, right up front, that, “I don’t want to poison or shoot them I just want them the fuck off my property”).

Perhaps most amusing were his repeated digs at The Cure’s frontman Robert Smith, first writing of raccoons, “They are just over glorified fat rats with eyeliner (hmmmm, kinda sounds like Robert smith of the Cure to me)” in his first update on the growing crisis last Wednesday.

Then, after declaring Saturday that the “cayenne attack” he’d unleashed on Friday had worked, Jourgensen concluded: “If they don’t come back again today I’ll buy some sort of hazmat suit and pick up their droppings. I wonder if Roberts smiths tour mgr. has to do this.”

Read the full account of how Uncle Al spent his weekend below:

 

 

PREVIOUSLY ON SLICING UP EYEBALLS

 

 

 

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